Though often overlooked, there is one issue that always makes itself felt in any arena, be it ethical, political or personal. That issue is the right – or obligation – to free speech. The founders of this country considered the issue to be so important that it comes first among our Bill of Rights. But politics (the science of being polite) being what it is, very few people truly believe in saying what they think, and even fewer allow themselves to speak that truth to others.

Within most of western culture, it is expected that people will be polite to each other, saying only as much truth as is necessary for day to day activity. Every day, we are greeted with people asking us how we are doing. Yet, if we dare to deviate from the expected pleasantries and honestly answer the question – whether in joy or in sorrow – those asking often become totally confused. They cannot fathom that we would actually choose to respond to their inquiry with the truth. In fact, some go so far as to consider it rude when we say what we really think, as if peeling away the masks of platitudes is an imposition upon the listener, forcing them to deal with unwanted reality.

The issue becomes even more volatile when we take it upon ourselves to volunteer our opinions to others. Take, for example, the case of a nurse, who shares his ethical stance on a medical procedure that one of his patients is contemplating. To him, he may feel obligated to speak his mind by his oath, to serve the health care needs of the community in general, and this patient in particular. But to the patient, this unsolicited advice may feel like an invasion of privacy.

And heaven forefend if we have the temerity to disagree with the opinions being expressed by others. It seems that the very act of not taking someone else’s word on a topic is tantamount to an attack, as if by not agreeing with what the other is saying, we are somehow making that person wrong. When did this society come to the conclusion that one truth must hold for everyone? When did we lose the ability to have individual perspectives without it being a threat to those around us?

There are cultures, and ethical frameworks, that consider it not only a right, but each person’s responsibility to present alternate viewpoints. This school of thought holds that only by examining all aspects of a debate can we find the points of perspective that are appropriate for each of us. But endemic to this philosophy is also the unassailable tenet that each of us must find our own truths, and that the simple act of disagreeing with an opinion does not make that perspective wrong for the person speaking it, even if it does happen to wrong for us. Within that framework, to expose an alternate way of looking at an issue is not an attack, but a show of respect. It is our way of saying that we consider the other individuals involved in a discussion to be adult enough to determine their own personal truths. For that is how we teach, and learn, and grow.

And isn’t that what schools and families are for in the first place – arenas for us to explore all the facts and facets of an issue, to teach and learn and grow without anyone being made wrong for their beliefs. Can we as a culture, and as a people, finally reach a point where we no longer have to treat those around us as fragile? Can we at last step up and reclaim our power – to know our own truths, to say what we belief, and to disagree with others without making them wrong in the process? For if we cannot, then what hope do we have of evolving as individuals, or as a species?

Coranth Gryphon
July 4th, 2002